Ask Mr. Biggs

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

• Advises callers to gather their thoughts prior to going “on air.”
• Finds endomorphic ladies appealing.
• Feels that ownership of an item lies inherently in one’s ability to disassemble it.
• Suggests professional help when dealing with seasonal pests.
• Waives his strict “No Caps” policy for his part-time employees.
• Is intimidated by compact folding blades.

*content advisory* – This episode contains salty language that you’d be embarrassed to use in front of your mother.

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In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

• Advocates the use of vinyl surfaces beneath office furniture.
• Is adamant about using the right measuring devices to measure ovoid objects.
• Encourages deliberate consumption of between-meal sweets.
• Is compelled to remind listeners of talk show caller etiquette.
• Interprets the subconscious messages inherent in footwear shoelace patterns.
• Frowns upon overpriced haircuts.

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In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . .

• • Steadfastly opposes the filing of fraudulent documents.
  • Is no match for automated telephone dialing features.
  • Appreciates brevity in electronic correspondence.
  • Recommends repurposing everyday items to increase their usefulness.
  • Feels it’s important to protect Dolly Parton’s good name.
  • Expresses uncertainty about his ability to recognize less common nuts.

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